Seriously? Cheap candy? That's all I get?

Saturday, October 31, 2009 Posted In , , , Edit This 3 Comments »

The wutz decided over a month ago that he wanted to be Thomas the Tank Engine for Halloween. I was saddened that he picked out a cheap costume from Target instead of some of the uber-cute costumes I'd found online, though. Apparently he's grown out of the stage where I can use him as my dress-up doll. *sniffle*

So tonight we dressed him up in his little costume and took him first to Grandma's house, where she gave him a handpainted cauldron of treats. Inside the cauldron was a toy tractor and trailer. Wutz bliss in a cardboard box.

Next we drove to town and went to Granny and PopPop's house. There he got an entire bag of chocolate and another toy package that contained a truck, tractor, and trailer. He was thrilled to death and immediately started playing with his loot.

Finally it got dark enough to go Trick or Treating. We went to the Polo Grounds because they close off the streets so vehicles cannot drive through. It is very crowded with children, so it really makes it a lot of fun. Except for the handful of snotty kids with zero manners that I want to bop in the head with the wutz's treat pail. And I did it several times in my head, too. It made me feel a little better. But I digress...

After the first house, the wutz realized something was very wrong. We walked up to the second house and he stepped closer to the steps and the lady handing out candy. He hesitated. Then he leaned forward and looked into the basket containing oodles and oodles of candy. When he realized there really was no tractors in the basket he shook his head and turned around to leave. Fortunately, the lady had no clue why he stepped back and turned, so I eased in quickly and steered his shoulders so he had to accept the candy in a quasi-polite manner.

Back on the street we had to have a brief little talk about what Trick or Treating is really supposed to be about. Fortunately, he got the hang of it and ended up having a great time.

Open Letter to my Poor Widdle Lonely Blog

Tuesday, October 27, 2009 Posted In , , , Edit This 4 Comments »

Dear Blog,

I promise, I have not forgotten or forsaken you. Life has been crazed but I hope to return to you very soon. If the whole pain-in-the-ass writer's block goes away. And the flu. And the insanity.

Pending the disappearance of all that, I'll be back very soon.


The REAL Demolition Derby

Thursday, October 08, 2009 Posted In , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »

Tuesday night I met up with a friend of mine and her two kids to take them all to the county fair and the Demolition Derby that was also being held there that night. The wutz was looking forward to the Derby and was already bellowing, "Derby!" back from his carseat as we traveled to the fairgrounds.

However, when we got there all was forgotten once we wove our way through the building where all the booths of vendors hawking their cheap wares were set up and we then arrived at the threshhold to the fair itself. Once the kids saw the lights and the rides the Derby was all but forgotten. So we gleefully tanked the Demolition Derby plans in exchange for $20 armbands for each child in attendance.

My friend and I followed the small tugging hands of each child, first to the flying Dumbo knockoffs. Then we made our way to the race cars that looked much like the vehicles I could hear being destroyed mid-Derby.

After the race cars we stood for about 15 minutes outside of a funhouse that had a plexiglass maze. We laughed so hard our sides hurt from watching each of our oh-so-graceful children bonk their heads repeatedly on the SAME pane of plexiglass each and every time they attempted to wander through the maze.

It was a grand time.

Until little dudes and the diva started getting tired around 10pm. Then we knew it was time to depart. So as we wandered back out the fair we then had to retrace oursteps through the gauntlet of vendors.

While trying to make our escape my friend's son kicked over a fairly large potted plant, sending it toppling onto its side. My friend and I both turned around and looked down at it and then each other, both faces mirroring the "I'm not bending over in these jeans to pick that up." So we all just walked past it and acted like nothing happened.

But then...

A little further down the gauntlet, so close to the end I could see the exit, the wutz walked up to a giant stuffed dog, stared at it for a moment then head butted it so that it went tumbling backward onto the floor. Fortunately a booth worker was there to retrieve it, because I can assure you none of us planned on it. Too much effort, you know.

On we continued toward the grand exit when a small group of teenagers stopped us and one said, "We just have to tell you, you two have the coolest kids EVER. They are awesome!" It was then that we cracked up and laughed all the way back to our cars.

Yes. Our own personal Demolition Derby. We were so very proud.

They say you can't go home again, but you can, it just won't be the same because your parents are out to terrorize you...

Monday, October 05, 2009 Posted In , , , Edit This 6 Comments »

Saturday night, I spent the night at my parents' house. The wutz stayed there as well. It was actually a welcome break because he loves playing with his Granny and especially his PopPop.

While he worked on covering their entire Den with toys, I snuck upstairs and took a long hot shower and then I went into my old bedroom to enjoy some peace and quiet.

However, since I moved out over a decade ago, my room has been slightly renovated. And I think it was done with one purpose: keep me from ever wanting to move back in.

First, I hate pink. I loathe pink. And the walls are now a pink that could only be described as Pepto. To accent the shade of pink, the walls are bordered with a floral wallpaper that matches the equally feminine bedspread that was slathered with flowers. And don't forget the matching accent pillows.

Second, I am terrified of clowns. I hate them. They are the freakiest things on the planet. But there, on the walls were these awful harlequin masks. Oh, and a painting of a court jester. Both were too close for creepy for me!

And THEN (as if all of that wasn't bad enough) I realized that they'd planted a monster under my bed!


It doesn't get any worse than what I found when I happened to glance under the bed:


*Photos taken with the cell phone and a terrified and trembling hand