Vanishing Act (Or Why does this shit always have to happen to me?)

Tuesday, November 03, 2009 Posted In , , , Edit This 6 Comments »

This morning I spoke to my parents on the phone. At the end of the conversation I inquired on who would be the one responsibile for school pick up. It was decided that I would be the one to accomplish this task.

Not a problem.


Well, I left work fifteen minutes early in order to be there when school let out because the majority of the children ride the bus to the YMCA and the wutz hates being left out there alone. Mission accomplished. I got there with a few minutes to spare.

But upon my arrival one of the teachers on outside duty looked at me then looked to where the wutz always is and then back to me. Then the school's Director did the same thing. Not a good sign.

The wutz wasn't there. The Director then asked me to call my Dad to see if he had picked him up. I wasn't panicked as I grabbed my cell phone and made the call. I assumed that, being the flake I am, I'd simply gotten my wires crossed and Dad had picked the kiddo up. Wrong. I could hear the panic rising in my Dad's voice as I explained that the wutz was officially AWOL.

The Director then mentioned that he could be on the bus with the YMCA kids. It was in that moment that my rising sense of panic began to ebb a bit. "Yeah." I told her. "He's on the Y bus." She then looked at me with a questioning glance, and I had to explain that the wutz had been talking for a few days about how he wanted to ride the big school bus to the Y. I knew in my heart of hearts that he was safely on that bus. After a phone call confirmed it, I headed off to the next preschool to pick him up while the bus was held up for me.

When I arrived at the school, I was met with apologies and a screaming/crying wutz. He did not want to get off the bus. He wanted to ride it all the way to the Y. I was too frazzled, though. I just pulled him off the bus and all but threw him into his carseat. Then I had to field half a dozen panicked phone callsas word of the wutz's Great Escape had filtered through the family grapevine.

Shortly thereafter, the Director called to offer sincere apologies once more and to tell me she wasn't making excuses for the error, but it was something that had never happened before. Fortunately, for her, I know her very well. Her daughter was one of my bridesmaids in my wedding. I know she'd never ever purposefully be neglectful. I told her that I wouldn't say it was okay, but as long as she made certain it never happens again we could consider the matter closed.

It turns out that both of the wutz's teachers were out sick today, so she was in his classroom along with a substitute teacher. But the Director had been called out to go to her office to tend to another matter as the morning came to a close. So when the substitute teacher asked the wutz if he went to the Y, he saw the opportunity to ride that wonderful school bus and he chirped, "Yeah, I do!"

In addition to the absent teachers, the YMCA bus was being driven by a subsitute today, too. The bus driver normally does roll call as the children enter the bus, but the new driver didn't know to do that or either just did a head count and the wutz apparently filled a vacant slot.

It all added up to be the perfect storm that allowed my child to slip onto a bus that he wasn't supposed to be on and shave at least five years off his Momma's life.

I'm just glad he is safe and sound, though.

Now, where's that damned drink I need???


Opinionated Gifts said...

Holy Fuckitos.

I suppose on the positive side, the wutz sure knows an opportunity when he sees it.

Little monsters always find a way to kill their parents in some form or another.

Shannon said...

Oh my goodness! I had something similar happen to me last year and I totally understand that fear and panic that seems to last hours! I'm glad he's ok but man is he a little stinker for getting on that bus!

By the Seat said...

Glad he's ok ... is this just a sign of what's to come?

Laurie said...


I need to go have a drink after reading that!

Lisa said...

Oh yikes!! My worst nightmare come to fruition! Glad that he was safe.

Erina said...

Once upon my child's youth (oh so many years ago now) and shortly after he became a 'latch-key' kid due to his father's remarriage, he went missing. The panic was overwhelming and the relief euphoric when he was found but boy did your story take me painfully back. I'm happy the little guy was safe and sound and I had to laugh at his "yeah I do".